There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize
