My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Randomize
