my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
