i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
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