I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
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