so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I just blew my weed a kiss
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
