He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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