john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
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