Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
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