How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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