I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
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