First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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