Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
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