Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
two words...techno handjob
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
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