Girls should come with a carfax report
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
