do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
