You're completely useless in the revolution.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
