I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
