My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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