Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
porn star boner night. come get it.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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