Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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