well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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