Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
its liver damage thursday
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
