absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
