So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
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