i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Randomize
