And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
