No, drunk sperm still make babies.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
