Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
dude i'm inner monologue high
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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