I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
