This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
