3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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