I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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