i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Randomize
