So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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