So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
