More tranny stories later!
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
