Who did Billy Mays play for?
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Just invented taco cereal.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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