Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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