This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Randomize
