I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
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