what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Randomize
