hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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