Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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