which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Randomize
