I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
