used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
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