also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
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