dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Randomize
