between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
